What’s funny?

I do comedy now. Like real comedy, not journalism.

And it has left me asking this question. What’s funny?

Turns out, NOTHING IS!

Feminists get offended on women jokes.

Bhakts get offended on Modi jokes.

Bhakts and feminists get offended of Durga maata jokes.

Muslims, well, they don’t get offended. They just explode… in laughter.

Nah not really. I just said that because it was making a good joke. It might have offended some people.

Make a joke about animals, the Jain community and the odd Malayali who switched to vegetarian food gets offended.

Make fun of the Jain community and PETA gets offended.

Make fun of Chennai floods, people call it humour in bad taste. Lol. Log vaha mar rahe hai bhenchod tumko taste ki padi hai? Masterchef chala raha hai tumhara baap yaha?

Then they said the answer is within you. So I made jokes about myself. I started getting offended.

Ok bye.

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Men – oh – pause

I write this article at the risk of being labelled a sexist. Although that tag does bother me, I will go ahead and write this.

Right, so, Men – oh – pause (TM) is a phrase I came up with after my recent experiences with a few friends. You know how we men are always boasting about not being in a cycle that involves PMSing and that we’re always our cool selves. Well that is a huge lie. Most guys have a time of the year for a month or so when they go men-oh-pausal.

Yes, it is exactly what you think it is. The symptoms of menopause are seen in the same month. They start acting like a woman who is going through an extended mid life crisis even at the age of menopause.

To put it in a layman’s term, the friend/brother pauses being a man and starts acting like a stupid bitch. :p Trust me, there is no good way of putting it. Compared to what’s running in my mind, this is a very mild term!

While going through this men – oh – pause, men generally go full retard. They remain pissed off at their friends for no reason. They think their entire group is against them and have been pulling them down all their lives. At this point, they move to their tertiary friends and “start a new happy life” with them.

This keeps them happy for a couple of weeks before they start realising they are behaving like a stupid bitch. And just like the Snickers advertisement, they go from being a heroine to our old brother in matter of seconds and come back. This is usually common among men who have moved to new avenues, companies or even institutions.

That’s it I guess! Adios! 😀

Can it get worse?

forcedmarriage

I’m not a feminist. If ever, humans would be classified into things, feminism would be the last attribute in me.

But it disgusts me. Our society. When I say our, I mean our Indian society. I’m not above it. I am a part of it. And I feel ashamed.

If you think about it, in India, as a man, you don’t need to be worried about getting married. Because somewhere out there, there is a girl’s family who are ready to pay you an amount of money to take their daughter away and enslave her.

All this because you were born with a dick. Cha!

Women are human beings, not chickens!

But it isn’t the dowry system that scares me. As the recent developments have proved, while the world is moving forward, we’re going backward.

My biggest worry is, can it get worse?!