More than just an underwear!

To my faithful readers, this might be my last blog post. I might be lynched by a mob, dragged onto a street and might be beaten to death after this blog post by a group of people whom you might associate me with.

Now, then, the Sikh community *dramatic pause* has been a part of civilization for roughly 500 years. Of which for over 300 years, it has been an organised religion.

From serving free meals at Gurudwaras, to serving free meals in areas affected by ISIS, to serving free meals in drought/flood/earthquake hit areas and giving the world Daler Mehendi, the community has always been the front runner in doing good things. And hey, the meals come with no obligations to convert into Sikhism once you’re done eating.

But as a Sikh physically and an atheist mentally, there are times where I start questioning this cute little religion that provides food and some times blows up flights and assassinates the prime minister, for whatever reasons.

Now, every Sikh who gets baptized (amrit chakna), has to follow a certain set of rules which include cooking for yourself, following a prayer time table and yes, having the 5 Ks.

The five Ks, which most of you’ll learnt in the Hindi lesson ‘Guru Nanak’ in your 9th standard, are five things that a Sikh must carry on him at all times. Fair enough, every religion has rules. So does Sikhism.

Here’s where it starts messing with my head. The first K stands for Kesh – Growing facial hair. And the rule makers wanted to be sure that we’re just not growing hair but combing them. So we added the second K, the Kanga – a small wooden comb. Still nothing extra ordinary. Seems pretty routine, right?

Then the rule makers went one step further and said, ‘Hey bro, here are two more Ks – the Kada (an arm guard) for self-defense and the Kirpan (a dagger). Considering that the Sikhs were at war with the Mughals and were expecting sudden attacks, this made perfect sense. Hats off.

And then, the person who was writing the rules decided to just have fun. He said, “Let’s mess around a little bit.” And just as the announcer of the rules was going out to tell the world about the four must-have things (God it sounds like Scoopwhoop), the creator of rules called him back and said, “Listen, add this, Chaddi pehen na mat bhoolna,” and hence the fifth K was added. The Kacha, which means an underwear.

WHAT?!

This is what bothers me the most, ours is the only holy book in the world that says ‘bro, don’t forget to wear your underwear.’ How dumb do you think we were man that you felt the rule ‘wear an underwear’ should be a part of your holy book?

The announcer also would’ve been like, “Sir you sure about this one?”

“YES ABSOLUTELY. As time passes, people might forget that wearing an underwear is necessary. The only way to get them to wear it is to have it in the holy book.”

Wow.

I mean look at Hinduism, their holy books were talking about complicated shit like ‘people should be divided into four Varnas’. the Christians were making rules about converting people and shit by getting them drunk and the Muslims were also up to something, I guess. And here’s us, making rules like ‘underwear compulsory’.

Now I guess we know what the priorities of my ancestors were. Damn!

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A toast to February

This blog is exactly what you are thinking it is about.

Ice cream.

Yaaayyy!! 😀

Just kidding. (Although I did see that ‘what the fuck’ expression on your face). It’s not about ice cream.

This blog is not a rant about how shit love is or how pathetic Valentines Day is because I am single. Nah.

Instead it is about how February has been romanticized (English swag niggas) in our heads right from when we were children. That’s right, and it wasn’t just for February 14th. It was for the over all picture.

Because as kids, even though we had no clue what it meant, we all knew February had fewer days that normal months and even when it got an extra day, it would still be fewer than the other months.

Doesn’t really feel like a big deal now but figuring that out – particularly in my school – felt like a big deal back then.

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You know why there’s a photo of a man leaping here? Because it’s a leap year mother fuckers! Get it? Leap. LEAP. LEEEAAPP!!!! 

And I remember this one leap year, when I was little, a classmate of mine was late to class and the second he came in, he shouted ‘THIS IS AN EXTRA DAY WE HAVE TO STUDY. OUR SENIORS DIDN’T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS!’

And we were all like “Fuccckkkk!!!”

No sorry, we were kids.

We were all like “Whatever kids say when they are amused”. (I can’t seem to recall what we said as kids when we were amused. So used to ‘shit’, ‘fuck’ or ‘bhuh that’s insane’, I can’t remember what I used to say when I was amused as a child. Let me know in the comments what you’d say.) *Optimistic Blogger*

That guy’s doing his MS in USA now. Surprise, surprise.

Anyway, you further romanticize the month when you grow up because hey, in college, this is the time where even the ugliest people we know get confident and try to ask someone out. And I get to say that because I am ugly. #FakeModestyToMakeRudeComment

And for some reason, after the holidays of December and the hangovers/failed resolutions of January, it is February that tells you, ‘Hey it’s alright. This year isn’t that bad after all. There’s love in it, it isn’t that long and if you’re single, well fuck you because happiness isn’t for you’.

It is February that gets little kids ready for their exams and the big bankers ready for their audits. It is the only time of the year where people from the same group can have hot tea and cold coffee in the same outing without the other section telling them the climate isn’t suitable for it.

Just imagine facing March directly after January, so bloody hectic!!

They say good things come in small packages and in our cases, I believe February is that small package.

Here’s to you dwarf month. You’re awesome.

Been a while, will need a little more

Here’s the thing. The world has no place for sentiments what so ever. Take anything for that matter, sentiment dies soon. Sentiment is like jerking off to the world.

They do it, they feel shit for some time, then they just wipe it off and completely forget about it. Be it the Peshawar killings, the attacks in Paris or a broken heart, everything is forgotten by everyone.

However, the only thing that remains constant is the pain of the people who are still going through the suffering knowing that their chance to shine under the spotlight of sympathy is gone and now there is no turning back as they stare doom, right in its face.

But doom here isn’t death. Doom here is life. Doom here is living through stuff. Doom here is making peace with the fact that you don’t have something you used to. Doom here is understanding and living with the fact that you’ve lost it and its never coming back.

And the pain that comes with this sort of a doom is of a different nature. Because it is pain of the highest order. And it is pain that is here to stay. So with time you stop responding to the pain. But you know it is still there. And while you die slowly, each moment with this pain, all you tell yourselves is that ‘it’s been a while, will need a little more. But I am sure it will all be alright.’

Heart goes out to the people in Syria. I can only imagine what you guys are going through. Not exactly a ‘been there done that’ kind of a thing but hey, we’ve all seen pain.

Hang in tight.

Stay

Stay. The only four-letter word that I think comes close to the word love in terms of emotion.

From times immemorial, only two feelings have ruled the world. The desire to love and the desire to not let go of the person you love – stay.

Though the word doesn’t even crack the top 1….. 100 romantic lines, it, for me, remains one of those words with the purest of emotions.

Probably because you don’t want everyone to stay. Or even if you want them to, you don’t really tell everyone to stay. But when you are in love (and I am talking of love beyond your girlfriends/boyfriends), the desire to make them stay becomes the biggest driving force for the relationship.

Parents, grand parents, a friend, a brother or for that matter even a job that you love! You want it to stay. Stay in your life. Stay with you. Stay so that you can be happy.

I have no idea why I am raving about this word. Probably because it has been bothering me for a while now. The idea, of wanting to hold on to someone and ask them not to leave. Asking them to stay.

Think about it?

Isn’t the word just beautiful?

No? Watch Hans Zimmer’s S.T.A.Y soundtrack from Interstellar. I am sure you’ll understand what I am talking about.

Cheers!

Pedestals

We as human beings survive on two basic instincts. One: Survival. That is one thing that remains constant through our lives.

The other thing, judgement. The only way one can survive is through a good sense of judgement. Because if we didn’t have our judgement, we’d soon become the hunted than be the hunters.

But here’s the thing. judgement in itself is a very tricky thing. Gone are the days when we were battling other species to survive. We are way beyond that phase now. Now all we are battling is one another in this world that we’ve built for ourselves. And the thing with a world like this is judgement becomes irrelevant yet our ages of evolution does not let us let go of it.

Often, the instinct to judge someone leads to you either rubbishing them or putting them on pedestals. While rubbishing them is a completely fine thing considering the outputs of this can only be inspiring the other person to prove a point, putting people on pedestals is what does a lot of harm.

We form ideas and images in our head of how a certain person is. Say an idol for that matter. This is until you know them. Once you do, you see a completely different side to them. And sometimes, or let’s be honest and say most times, you find them not worthy of the pedestal you have put them on.

And we end up hurting ourselves in the process. We tend to give up on people very soon for no fault of theirs. Because at the end of the day, they were just being what they were. It was us that put them up there and now we’re disappointed that they did not match out thoughts which we never conveyed to them in the first place.

We humans certainly are a funny species! Take that dinosaurs!

One of those things

You see, the world is a funny place. And this isn’t a reference to my talent as a stand up comedian.

It is funny because every once in a while, you come across one of those things that takes you back days, months, years or in some cases even lives. Although I am not a believer of reincarnation, there are certain things that you do for the first time yet you feel you’ve done it. The exact same way.

“It is called deja vu”. Shut the fuck up. I am not talking about that. This is something. This is like a random memory.

Like playing a song reminds you of a few seconds from when you were six. Like you’ll remember nothing that happened before or after that incident. It will be like an exact 10-second full HD video of what went down in those 10 seconds.

It is weird because it is like your past is trying to communicate with you whereas in actuality it isn’t. Or maybe it is if time is a dimension that we are yet to understand.

I don’t know if it happens to others as well. You know I am hoping it does. Because if it doesn’t happen to others, I cannot afford a shrink right now :3

Guess that’s about it.

Later.

It’s a cycle!

Fuck yeah, it IS A CYCLE!

You see, when shit is going down, you think it is the end of the world.

Well guess what? It isn’t. It is just a cycle. That entire feeling of the pre shit going down era comes back to you.

But it does, only if you live long enough to outlive that shitty feeling.

And trust me, if you end up out living that feel, it all starts from scratch. That ‘first everything’ returns. That sweet smell in the air. Them little red hearts flying everywhere. Well not the last part literally, that’d be gross.

But seriously, shit does go down, and how!

I always thought it was a hoax. There is no end to the tunnel. In fact, I was pretty sure this is a propaganda that things get better.

I have never been more wrong in my entire life put together.

Guess it is time to buckle up, get ready and head out into the horizon!

Because you know what they say, …… I’m not saying it. You know it already!

Wha? Yes that’s it! Okay bye! 😀

The chronology obsession

Let’s begin by saying I’m not a writer. I’m not a thinker. And if you follow my blog, you pretty well know, I am not a good blogger either.

#Modesty :p

So this one’s a serious one. If you’re here for fun, THOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Over the years (that is excluding the years I though Lesbians were what people from Lebanon were called, which roughly means over the last five years), I have noticed that human beings have some sort of obsession with chronology.

Everything in life, has to be in an order. I mean there are some things that have to follow a chronology, like being born, then growing old before eventually dying. Unless you are THAT guy from the Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

But then, why do we need to have an order for everything? Why study first and then go exploring your field?

Why marry first and then decide to have a family? Why not have a family? settle in, then have a marriage?

Why do people have to judge you when you eat your rice with rasam first and then eat sambar/dal during an Andhra meal?

I am sure most of my questions would come across as pretty stupid ones. But that is purely because an order has strictly been put into our head. “This is how the world works and you have no option but to follow it, or we kill you.” *cough cough* Galileo *cough*.

Who are these people who set the rules? Who are these people who force us to live our lives like a proper Rajshree Productions movie?

I don’t want to live it that way. I want it to be like Pulp Fiction. In an order I like and in a way that pleases me. And if it doesn’t please you, then fuck off, because a few years from now, you’ll realise it. But it’ll be too late by then.

PS: This is not a rant. My parents did not force me into engineering. I love what I do. This blog is just because I cannot digest the fact that many people cannot do what they love because of social convention and this entire chronology of life that we’ve created.

#MahLyfMahRulezz :’D

Did we need all this?

In the darkness of the night, my mind looms.

It goes places, it imagines things. It gives me a few answers in return for more questions.

One question that hit me recently, was ‘Did we really need all this?’

I’m sure there was a time, long long long long long ago, where none of this existed. The houses we live in, the buses we travel in or the computer I’m blogging from.

All that was there was our mother, the nature, and us.

I’m sure we lived in harmony. Till some son of a bitch decided to make fire.

Okay, maybe, fire was important. We could have stopped there? Nope.

Let’s use this to make new shit. Little did he know that he was creating a monster. A monster, so big and stupid, that it would engulf it’s own mother some day.

Look around you. You think we human beings were meant to live this way? In these houses?

I don’t think so.

We belong out in the wild. Because the wild is just a philosophy created by us to stop ourselves from being who we really are.

Try going to a river, or a forest, some day. Away from the hustle bustle of a city.

Somewhere, where you have fresh air to breathe and green grass to sleep. Let nature take you, for a day. You’ll realise what we’re doing is wrong. What is happening around the world is wrong. Everything, everything that we’re doing, is so completely wrong.

We’ve bound ourselves to useless things. Education, Jobs, Society blah blah blah. You think this is good?

If so, why is everything falling apart? Why do we have so so many new diseases? Why is there global warming? Why are species going extinct? Why is there so much wrong in the world? Why? Just why?

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We, as human beings, fucked up. Big time.

Sadly, it is too late to repair it.

But there is nothing wrong in questioning yourself. Were we right in doing this to the planet that raised us?

Did we need all this?

Happy ‘ending’! Really?!

Happy Ending. A concept that I always fail to understand.

The only happy ending to me is the ending of a class, or a boring film or maybe a dish made with one of those evil green leafy vegetables.

But frankly, the way I look at things, endings are never good.

The very fact that you are willing to end it is an open statement that the time you invested in it was a waste of time.

I’m talking about projects, things, relationships (yes), a football match!

But obviously a football match has to finish, we cannot afford to see players die on the field.

So, endings. What are they? Why are they?

If you read my blog, you know I’ve been through a big ‘ending’. Trust me, it was anything but happy. It was shit. I know it is in the past, but ‘daym nigga!’ It killed me while it lasted.

There are many reasons for that to have happened. Not denying that. I will leave that topic for another day, another blog! (Yes, this is like product placement :p ).

When it ended, obviously there was the routine misery, pain, disinterest in living.

But since I’m intellect that I am (Ahahahahaha! 😀 ), a question popped up.

Was putting in all the time, effort, affection, emotion a waste?

You know, I’m an atheist. And things like ‘it was meant to happen’ don’t mean anything to me.

It is not like I want to be a psychic and know the future. But then, if you’ve put in so much in something, it doesn’t deserve to end, so sorely.

But that isn’t the point. The point is, the shit that the media and movies put in your head. That eventually all will be well.

BULL SHIT! Nothing will ever be well.

There will always be cunts who end things and there will always be endings that are never a happy affair!

Merci! (Fuck yeah, the blogger can speak French too! )