Shut the Khap up!

Shut the Khap up!

The khaps of India, whose actual duty was to keep the society functioning has come to lime light after loads of vague comments on various issues. The khaps are doing everything but their work.

From blaming increasing rape cases on chowmean to proposals of banning cell phone use by women, they have crossed the creativity levels of the Roadies judges as well. Every point made by them sounds baseless, and resembles the script of a Tushar Kapoor movie.


Mahatma Gandhi, the Father of the Nation wanted ‘Ram rajya through Gram Rajya’. I’m sure he wasn’t aware that there was a place called Haryana in India, which had something called a Khap Panchayat. Because if he had a slightest hint of their existence, I’m sure he would prefer the Kardashians over the Khaps. I still wonder what the khaps meant when they said “because women are eating Chowmean, they are getting raped.” Chowmean? Rapes? In that case China should have been country with the highest rape cases! I wouldn’t be surprised if the Haryana Government comes out in their defence and say “it was just an attempt to promote the local cuisine over chowmean!”

Mean while, Digvijaya Singh, who has finally found company, said that eating Wada pav leads to global warming, and usage of full stops in a sentence is the reason behind the growing corruption in India. Sonia Gandhi is tight lipped over the issue as she has sent the script of what she wanted to say to Manmohan Singh. He will be reciting it to us (with invisible quotation marks from Madamji) in a press conference shortly.


Mamata Banarjee too has come out with a strong opinion on the issue of increasing rapes in the country. She, in a press conference said, “da inkaresing rdapesh arde bekozh oph the interadkshions betbeen the boiys and girdls!” (Read in the Didi accent). This was later decoded by a team of experts from Linguistic Research Cell of the Oxford University, members of all India Bangalee Sabha and a few TMC members close to Didi. After 9 hours of research, it was decoded and we understood what didi meant. The decoded version reads

“The increasing rapes are because of the interactions between the girls and boys.”

It is clear from the statement that Didi has to be ahead of anyone who makes a statement, be it  Khap or the Congress (that’s okay Mr. Singh, we understand). So, Didi proves her point, if the Khaps live in the 16th century, I’m one step ahead living in the 15th century.

And all the Mango man of the Banana republic can do is: