Dinosaurs have always fascinated me. Maybe because unlike most of you’ll, Titanic wasn’t my first English film, it was Jurassic Park.
And The first time I watched the film, I freaked out. The scene where a fellow scientist’s hand comforts the lead actress was good till you realised that it was just the hand comforting her because the rest of the scientist had been eaten by a dinosaur.
Now, I’m not saying science is wrong. But honestly, none of us have seen or met dinosaurs. All we know about them comes from their bones that were found under layers of soil. Just kidding. All we know comes from the Jurassic Park series.
But what if (yes, this is where the absurdity begins) dinosaurs were nice people. What if all they wanted to do was cuddle? And be happy? And invest in an SBI fixed deposit so their child could go to a nice school after they died? #SarUthaKeJio #ProductPlacement
Now, I know what you guys must be thinking. “Leave science alone? WHAT RUBBISH”. We conveniently did that when we were killing Galileo for saying ‘bro I think the world is round’ or something like that. So why not just think about it for a harmless (yet awesome) blog?
So, back to my theory. Ever looked at a Tyrannosaurs Rex? It has such nice and small hands. And if we go by everything we have seen (A USP that both god and dinosaurs lack), anything with small hands is good – Babies, people who have small hands because of polio (because handicapped people are always nice), rabbits, squirrels, Sid from Ice Age. Such nice people.
But I’m not telling all dinosaurs were nice people. Some of them might have been right wing people. Who would pretend to be vegetarian and fuck up everyone else. Those long-necked basterds that Steven Spielberg’s movie portrayed in such good light might actually have been the assholes that fucked it up.
Because lets talk facts. (ROFL). Anything with a long neck is an asshole. Snakes (their entire body is a long neck and the only thing they are good for is creating medicine that cures their OWN FUCKEN BITE), giraffes, ostriches, ducks, the sea monster that attacks Hanuman in the cartoon Ramayan that was shown on Cartoon Network on every Diwali between 2003 and 2009, George W Bush (no seriously, look it up).
To take my argument further, those vegetarian dinosaurs with the long necks are the Gujaratis of the dinosaur world. Because they eat vegetarian food, sleep early and spit on white girls (seriously have no idea what the last part means). But we all know when shit went down in 2002, the dhokla eating people didn’t spare anyone. And maybe, there was no meteorite that hit the earth. Maybe it was just these guys going and killing the cuddly and nice T-Rexs and their families.
Also, they look like dicks.
Makes you think doesn’t it?