Being an atheist has many advantages. One of them is when you’re jerking off, you can be sure that no one’s watching you. Unless you’re doing it in a crowded bus. Because that’s not how it works. There are somethings atheism can’t hide, for every thing else there’s master card.
But no one really talks about the downside to atheism. The fact that you don’t believe in god comes with a few terms and conditions. And one of them is you have to believe that there are no ghosts too – which, I think is messed up.
Because it is human nature to be afraid of the dark. Or at least it is my nature. And I freak out in the dark. But what freaks me out more than the idea of ghosts is my defense mechanism.
Let’s say its 3 am in the night (which allegedly is the Satan’s time). I’m just doing some random stuff on my computer. I see a movement on the corner of my eye. Now lets assume it is a ghost that moved. Obviously that is scary.
But my defense mechanism to that is to not look in the direction of the ghost. That’s right. I think not looking at it will protect me from it. Its a good thing I’m not in the army.
Major: ‘Soldier, the Pakistanis are coming.’
Me: ‘I have an excellent idea. A strategy that’ll win us the war.’
Major: ‘Go ahead. What is it?’
Me: ‘Let’s not look at them.’
Times of India’s first page next day: ‘Army major shoots his own soldier.’
And here’s the messed up part. I know this isn’t helping. I know the ghost might still come and kill me. But I still do keep doing this.
Even the ghost must be like ‘What a fucktard!’
The moral of the story is face your fears. Because if you don’t, then you won’t see it coming.